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 The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost

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DarkSnivy

DarkSnivy

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Join date : 2012-02-23
Age : 22
Location : The Medium becoming a god tier

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PostSubject: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty20/3/2012, 6:31 pm

OK so i want to give mark frost a really sad dark past. but my spelling and grammar fails so bad i may need other help to EDIT THE SHIT out of this story that my mind is just telling me to make.

for right now i'll put down the beginning idea of this story. please tell me if you may have a better idea!!!

CH 1. ideas

We would start out with mark frost at the gives moment A.K.A present day

he would be happy trying to fit in with all the other pones at pony vile. just a normal pony. we would go with a day with him. "will take up 1/3 of the CH" at the end of the day mark would go home to a nice quiet house a good walk away from the town. he has but a bag of apple and need to take it to his cellar. he moves around boxes to get to his fridge. half way there he find and a pretty snow globe. in the globe was a town locked in winter all year long. he would than start to remember small thing about this "town" like he once lived there and got his cutey mark by pulling off a huge ice spell. than it would hit him somthing big that happen there. the last thing you would read would be"Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face.


and that would be the end of ch 1

please help me to get this story going ;C


one last thing this is what mark looks like THIS WILL COME UP LATER IN THE STORY ABOUT HOW HE IS Colored




The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost C__mark_frost_by_wannafok-d4sfijh


UPDATE 3/20/12: starting to work on the first CH
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Topsy Kretts

Topsy Kretts

Posts : 1181
Join date : 2012-02-26
Age : 21
Location : An oh-so wonderful chair

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PostSubject: Re: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty21/3/2012, 10:50 pm

Imma just correct that paragraph your wrote there for the sake of convenience.

We would start out with mark frost at the gives moment A.K.A present day The story would start out with Mark Frost as of now, present day.
he would be happy He would be just another happy pony,
trying to fit in with all the other pones at pony vile. trying to fit in with everypony else in Ponyville
just a normal pony. To conclude, just a normal pony of sorts.
we would go with a day with him. The story would run through a typical day with him.
"will take up 1/3 of the CH" This should take up around 1/3 of the chapter
at the end of the day mark would go home to a nice quiet house At the end of the day, Mark would return to his idyllic home,
a good walk away from the town. a slightly long walk away from town.
he has but a bag of apple and need to take it to his cellar. He has a bag's worth of apples that he needs to store in his cellar
he moves around boxes to get to his fridge. He moves about boxes in his cellar to and fro to get to the fridge
half way there he find and a pretty snow globe. Along the way, he catches sight of a snow globe
in the globe was a town locked in winter all year long. In the globe lies a town, trapped in what seems to be a perpetual winter
he would than start to remember small thing about this "town" His memory would start to recall things from this snow globe
like he once lived there and got his cutey mark by pulling off a huge ice spell. Remembering things like how he got his cutiemark through the unlikely event of managing a professional ice based spell
than it would hit him somthing big that happen there. Then he would recall about something big that happened
the last thing you would read would be"Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face. The last thing read would be "Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face"

Okay, no offense but the first chapter sounds somewhat boring, you're gonna need a really good opening paragraph to get the reader interested. What I suggest you do to keep the reader reading is by constantly over emphasizing how typical Mark is.

That way, the reader would be driven to continue just to find out why there is a fic of a so called 'normal' pony.

Also, I think this chapter would be okay as a relatively short one, I've seen a chapter that was only worth one page, but even then the book that had such a chapter achieved a lot of praise. So I would increase Mark's day-walkthrough to about 2/3 of the chapter.

And another thing, my suggestion for a last sentence is "Slowly, a cold [Hinting his ice related prowess] tear ran down his cheek, as his grin grew, and grew ever wider."

But hey, that's just a suggestion, you can go with whatever you want. And that's about all I have to say, the majority of which is slight common sense.

_________________
*sips tea*

The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Thatonetimewheretopsysaidno-1

Spoiler:
 
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plumander

plumander

Posts : 465
Join date : 2012-02-27
Age : 21
Location : Ponyville. Duh.

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PostSubject: Re: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty22/3/2012, 10:44 am

SHIT. I WANTED TO DO IT.
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DarkSnivy

DarkSnivy

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Join date : 2012-02-23
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PostSubject: Re: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty24/3/2012, 3:51 am

Topsy Kretts wrote:
Imma just correct that paragraph your wrote there for the sake of convenience.

We would start out with mark frost at the gives moment A.K.A present day The story would start out with Mark Frost as of now, present day.
he would be happy He would be just another happy pony,
trying to fit in with all the other pones at pony vile. trying to fit in with everypony else in Ponyville
just a normal pony. To conclude, just a normal pony of sorts.
we would go with a day with him. The story would run through a typical day with him.
"will take up 1/3 of the CH" This should take up around 1/3 of the chapter
at the end of the day mark would go home to a nice quiet house At the end of the day, Mark would return to his idyllic home,
a good walk away from the town. a slightly long walk away from town.
he has but a bag of apple and need to take it to his cellar. He has a bag's worth of apples that he needs to store in his cellar
he moves around boxes to get to his fridge. He moves about boxes in his cellar to and fro to get to the fridge
half way there he find and a pretty snow globe. Along the way, he catches sight of a snow globe
in the globe was a town locked in winter all year long. In the globe lies a town, trapped in what seems to be a perpetual winter
he would than start to remember small thing about this "town" His memory would start to recall things from this snow globe
like he once lived there and got his cutey mark by pulling off a huge ice spell. Remembering things like how he got his cutiemark through the unlikely event of managing a professional ice based spell
than it would hit him somthing big that happen there. Then he would recall about something big that happened
the last thing you would read would be"Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face. The last thing read would be "Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face"

Okay, no offense but the first chapter sounds somewhat boring, you're gonna need a really good opening paragraph to get the reader interested. What I suggest you do to keep the reader reading is by constantly over emphasizing how typical Mark is.

That way, the reader would be driven to continue just to find out why there is a fic of a so called 'normal' pony.

Also, I think this chapter would be okay as a relatively short one, I've seen a chapter that was only worth one page, but even then the book that had such a chapter achieved a lot of praise. So I would increase Mark's day-walkthrough to about 2/3 of the chapter.

And another thing, my suggestion for a last sentence is "Slowly, a cold [Hinting his ice related prowess] tear ran down his cheek, as his grin grew, and grew ever wider."

But hey, that's just a suggestion, you can go with whatever you want. And that's about all I have to say, the majority of which is slight common sense.

YOU ARE NOW GOING TO HELP ME WITH THIS THING

*is still working on the ch D:*

_________________
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Topsy Kretts

Topsy Kretts

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Join date : 2012-02-26
Age : 21
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PostSubject: Re: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty24/3/2012, 7:03 pm

lexiedark wrote:
Topsy Kretts wrote:
Imma just correct that paragraph your wrote there for the sake of convenience.

We would start out with mark frost at the gives moment A.K.A present day The story would start out with Mark Frost as of now, present day.
he would be happy He would be just another happy pony,
trying to fit in with all the other pones at pony vile. trying to fit in with everypony else in Ponyville
just a normal pony. To conclude, just a normal pony of sorts.
we would go with a day with him. The story would run through a typical day with him.
"will take up 1/3 of the CH" This should take up around 1/3 of the chapter
at the end of the day mark would go home to a nice quiet house At the end of the day, Mark would return to his idyllic home,
a good walk away from the town. a slightly long walk away from town.
he has but a bag of apple and need to take it to his cellar. He has a bag's worth of apples that he needs to store in his cellar
he moves around boxes to get to his fridge. He moves about boxes in his cellar to and fro to get to the fridge
half way there he find and a pretty snow globe. Along the way, he catches sight of a snow globe
in the globe was a town locked in winter all year long. In the globe lies a town, trapped in what seems to be a perpetual winter
he would than start to remember small thing about this "town" His memory would start to recall things from this snow globe
like he once lived there and got his cutey mark by pulling off a huge ice spell. Remembering things like how he got his cutiemark through the unlikely event of managing a professional ice based spell
than it would hit him somthing big that happen there. Then he would recall about something big that happened
the last thing you would read would be"Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face. The last thing read would be "Mark grinned evilly as a small tear rolled down his face"

Okay, no offense but the first chapter sounds somewhat boring, you're gonna need a really good opening paragraph to get the reader interested. What I suggest you do to keep the reader reading is by constantly over emphasizing how typical Mark is.

That way, the reader would be driven to continue just to find out why there is a fic of a so called 'normal' pony.

Also, I think this chapter would be okay as a relatively short one, I've seen a chapter that was only worth one page, but even then the book that had such a chapter achieved a lot of praise. So I would increase Mark's day-walkthrough to about 2/3 of the chapter.

And another thing, my suggestion for a last sentence is "Slowly, a cold [Hinting his ice related prowess] tear ran down his cheek, as his grin grew, and grew ever wider."

But hey, that's just a suggestion, you can go with whatever you want. And that's about all I have to say, the majority of which is slight common sense.

YOU ARE NOW GOING TO HELP ME WITH THIS THING

*is still working on the ch D:*

I AM SO VERY BUSY WITH SO MANY PEOPLE AND PLACES OH SHIT AND FUCKS.

But challenge accepted anyway.

_________________
*sips tea*

The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Thatonetimewheretopsysaidno-1

Spoiler:
 
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DarkSnivy

DarkSnivy

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PostSubject: Re: The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost   The Dark Secret Of Mark Frost Empty25/3/2012, 5:31 am

your just going to help with spelling and crap XD

i have the hard part XC

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