There is no possible way i can describe my week. since monday, every night i've been plagued by bad dreams, each more demorilising then the other, making me feel worse and driving me to being depressed about myself and making me lack any focus towards my writing or singing or voice acting.
I try to push it back, crush the demon... however. I think it's over now. it's only going to get better from here. i wanna thank my friends who've tried to offer me advice, such as take a break, relax, play some games and don't focus on it. and it works. been having alot of fun playing castle crashers and l4d2.
However last night was possibly one of the worst dream i could ever have. but at the same time, this dream had something in it that makes me smile and it's THAT smile that i'll forever hold onto.
but i wanna talk about this dream too. You see, what's the one thing that i love more then anything. I've had bad dreams of people stealing my fan fic and making it better and it's only 200 words. i've had dreams where i get yelled at for no reason. where i screw up at work. so what else is left? one thing.
I won't go into details but i was hosting the Crystal fair and Scootaloo wanted to try jousting. her opponate was Rainbow Dash. i told RD to let Scootaloo win and she did. Scootaloo won and was super happy. a reporter wanted to ask Scoot's a few questions. one question was odd. she was asked if she had any medical conditions. she looked at the ground with a frown and then whispered that she had cancer. the next part of the dream, Me, Scootaloo and RD were all at the hospital in a large waiting room. and i'm hugging her. I'm hugging Scootaloo tight and she's hugging my neck. i'm crying as hard as i did when i read My little dashie for the first time.
I won't go into more details. i'll only say it didn't end with her dying or anything, but... that hug. the feels.
could i possibly have a worse dream? No. (What about my family dying?) I've had a nightmare before, when i was a kid, where they all turned into werewolf zombies. i think i'll be fine.
But yes, don't worry about me, i'm fine, but i just REALLY needed to get that off my chest, and you are all like family to me.
I'm already smiling now because... i got to hug Scootaloo again :) last time i had a dream with Scootaloo, she helped me when i was in a fight, she got hurt, i raged, beat the snot out the guy and then hugged Scootaloo as we lied on the floor. she said "Thank you... Mom"
Okay, sure, i'm a guy, but still, SUPER HEART EXPLOSION NO JUTSU! That was the moment she became my favourite Crusader. and soon became my favourite pony :)
You're still here reading? You're a great friend.
I love you.