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Topsy Kretts

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   27/5/2012, 5:50 pm

Sir Topsy approves, write faster dammit. Also, I think making more than three mistakes within 2500 words is a bit much. Proof-read a wee bit more carefully if its no trouble, seeing something spelt awkwardly kills the mood for me.

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   16/6/2012, 12:13 am

Hey guess what Nevel? I'm actually still working on the cover, as of now these are the designs I am least shameful of. If you want some minor changes to it, state them now. Else, I'll continue making the cover. I would'ave loved to use textures, but my computer is a downright douchedick right now.

Anyways, 3 versions of the same thing ;D

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   16/6/2012, 12:19 am

I'm loving this cover art, my suggestions would be to remove the 'by: Nevel' and just put 'Nevel' in the bottom right corner.
Also to remove 'cover art by: topsy' and move the devientART I.D right to the bottom left.

I also think the first colour scheme the most.

Well that's just my opinion i really like your work topsy.
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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   16/6/2012, 1:06 am

Because Nevel asked for these. Also, I will remove the 'By' and other stuff, but not now. I have to leave for a bit.

Capital A
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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   16/6/2012, 1:26 am

omg he has the hair i was trying to give mark but failed D;

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   16/6/2012, 11:03 am

Mark Frost my OC

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   17/6/2012, 3:31 am

Capitial :D looks more formla

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   17/6/2012, 4:11 am

Well, if you say so. Is this good?

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   17/6/2012, 4:38 am

Eh, it's not problem honestly. I don't really have much to do these days anyways, and it's only a few changes here and there.

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   17/6/2012, 5:30 am

Uhhh...

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   17/6/2012, 7:13 pm

I can't really get back to the previous one, since there is only one black version of it existing. So, uhhh............................................

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   29/6/2012, 11:31 pm

Nevel wrote:
Rejected from Equestria Daily.

You'd think that would destroy my self confidence.
Make me think i'm wasting my time.
That i should give up.

and you'd be right to think that. I can't write. Just because i can write better then some other people doesn't mean i'm a good writer. however... i KNOW my story is good. I've always known i've got a gift for telling stories, but it's my WRITING that is a critical failure. Here's a list of that EQD didn't like about my story.

---------

a quick skim of your prologue alone reveals issues in the following areas:

Capitalization (I fixed it all before i sent it. What are they talking about?)

Compound word hyphenation (I don't even know what that means)

Sentence fragments (What? Sentences are too small? should i make them longer by adding useless information?)

Quotation mark use (just fixed that part, but it still could be wrong)

Possessive noun use (What? Where?)

Tense confusion (Gah! Stop making up words!)

Comma use (I'm not allowed comma's?)

Dialogue punctuation (Fixed that aswell!)

Word misuse and awkward phrasing (It is you who is an awkward pharsing! ...I don't even)

---------

So what am i doing wrong here? I need serious help. Evenmotion tried giving me a few tips, but *points up* All those problems and i don't see them. I'm just gonna quit after i finish this story. I'm going to give you all be absolute best, but i'm not a professional writer. I'm a story teller and i'm going to give you all the absolultly best story i can! Regardless of the fact i never went to college and earned a B A in english!

Well, if they had no complaints about the plot or the story or anything, then cheer up. Grammar is exponentially easier to fix than a faulty story.

Quote :
Compound word hyphenation (I don't even know what that means)

I hate compound words. So much.

Basically what this means is that you might be either errenous or inconsistant in putting dashes between words when you should. But people disagree on which words should be hyphenated, which should be separate words, and which should be one big word. Essentially, I think they're saying that they have trouble reading things like "trouble maker" when they prefer "trouble-maker". Honestly, I don't think this is a very good reason, but they're just pointing that out while they're at it.

Quote :
Sentence fragments (What? Sentences are too small? should i make them longer by adding useless information?)

Typically what this means is that you're breaking up into several sentences what could be conveyed just as well in one or two. I have problems with this, too, but I'll see to what degree you use this when I read your story.

Quote :
Tense confusion (Gah! Stop making up words!)

Not sure if you;re being sarcastic here, but just in case, this means that you might, say, put an "is" where you should put a "was". Here's an example of tense confusion:

"Sweetie Belle stagnated in her seat as Cheerilee spouted the rules of tense. This is so boring, she thinks as she sunk further into her seat. When will I use this in life?

If you couldn't tell, "thinks" here should be "thought". There are a few different tenses one can write in, and people don't really mind which one you write in, as long as you keep it that way, without inconsistancy.

I must confess definitively that I haven't read your story, as much I tell myself I will and then never do. :P

Maybe I'll look into it and point out some examples of these for you to fix, but I'm caught up in so much stuff at the moment, maybe you should see if someone else is interested.

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Last edited by Flutterdude on 30/6/2012, 5:11 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   30/6/2012, 12:34 am

I bet it was the Pre-readers' time of the month when they skimmed your story. /badumtshhh

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   30/6/2012, 4:18 am

Flutterdude wrote:

"Sweetie Belle stagnated in her seat as Cheerilee spouted the rules of tense. This is so boring, she thinks as she sunk further into her seat. When will I use this in life?

If you couldn't tell, "thinks" here should be "thinked".

Thought. Not thinked. It is misspelled there ^ anyways. Sorry, but I had to say that. Or Thunk.
Definition of THUNK : dialect past and past participle of think (found on Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/thunk. Well I googled it and that is what came up.)
But yeah, Flutterdude has the right idea of what ED meant when rejecting the story.

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PostSubject: Re: Nevel's Novel   30/6/2012, 5:10 am

PinkiePieRocks! wrote:
Flutterdude wrote:

"Sweetie Belle stagnated in her seat as Cheerilee spouted the rules of tense. This is so boring, she thinks as she sunk further into her seat. When will I use this in life?

If you couldn't tell, "thinks" here should be "thinked".

Thought. Not thinked. It is misspelled there ^ anyways. Sorry, but I had to say that. Or Thunk.
Definition of THUNK : dialect past and past participle of think (found on Merriam-Webster.com/dictionary/thunk. Well I googled it and that is what came up.)
But yeah, Flutterdude has the right idea of what ED meant when rejecting the story.

What are you talking about? I said "thought" the whole time. :I

(this is our little secret now)

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